Random Thoughts on a Tuesday Night...

Sometimes I look into the mirror and see a 32 year old staring back at me. But I'm not so sure I feel like a 32 year old. And I'm not so sure I look like a 32 year old should look. I just know I'm 32. So I see 32 when I look in the mirror.

But you know that saying "you're only as old as you feel"? What kind of crap is that, really? Yeah, sure... I feel like I should be in my mid-late twenties. I feel like I am can still be fun. I feel like I am can still dress up and have a good time. But is that only in my head? Some days I feel 100 years old. And some days I feel 19 again. So do I take those ages and average it out?? If that's the case, I'm nearly 50. That might be more like it.

And then there's the whole "biological clock" mumbo-jumbo. I'm apparently already out of my prime child-bearing years. (tic-tock, tic-tock) I wish Nolan had someone to play with. And I wish there were some sweet baby in my life. But saying that... I wonder what that would be like, for real. (tic-tock) And like I've always said... I don't know if I could ever love another child the way I love Nolan... and he isn't even mine! I know, ridiculous. What's the age you should stop having children? I need to make sure I make up my mind about kids before that age gets here and it's too late. (tic-tock) And then... I'd need to find someone willing to drop a few tadpoles for that to happen. I'm not seeing too many takers lining up outside my door.

Speaking of Nolan... he's got a birthday coming up soon. I've already been doing a little pre-birthday shopping for him. I might need to pick a few more things up before then. Time goes by way too fast for me.

Okay... so that was a typical "5 minute thinking session" on a typical Tuesday night. Thanks for sharing it with me.

Eyes Fixed on the Sun

So... I just wanted to post that I hated that Cage The Elephant did not win Best Rock Video at the MTV Video Music Awards. And yes, I voted daily. There's just a sense of pride you get when someone from your hometown... a band you've seen play at your hometown bar many times... gets nominated for such an award. What a great thing it is to have such an awesome band from Bowling Green, KY. Congratulations, guys, on your nomination. And who knows?! Maybe there'll be  Grammy in your future.

~Video Credit~

In other news... my boss is retiring this week. He's been with the company for many, many years and I'm so happy to see him doing something for himself. Friday night, we took him out for a good time of hot wings, beer, and waitress-ogling. LOL. Most of our instructors showed up to wish him well in his next endeavors. It was so good to see such a great turnout. And I'm so happy he had a great time. I hope he'll remember how much we care about him and that we wish him the best!

Saturday, I was about to die to get out of the house!! I wanted to get out and go somewhere, anywhere. I tried to get everyone to go to the mountains with me. But no one was taking the bait I was tossing about. We ended up doing a little shopping in Lebanon. Well, I say shopping but no one bought anything except for mom. LOL. Later on, I met my best girl at Friday's (BG's most under-rated restaurant/bar... yeah I know the food is decent but the drinks and the atmosphere make up for it). We had the best time catching up and laughing about everything. I've missed those nights. It was so good for both of us. 

And today, I started shopping for my nephew's birthday. It's only a couple of weeks away (2 weeks from today exactly). So I thought I'd better get a move on it since games were on sale this week. I'm already wondering what to get him for Christmas. You know it's just like 15 weeks away, right?! That's like no time at all!! So I need to get a move on. Also today, I cleaned up around my room a bit and tried to de-clutter. It's so hard to do when you're a pack-rat. But I'm getting better at getting rid of things. I bought some more scarves today in hopes that weather will cool off soon and I can really enjoy them. There's nothing worse than buying clothes for the next season so early. But if you wait, they'll be gone. 

Oh well, that's my weekend in a nutshell. Happy dreams my friends...

Unfriending Friends

Ugh... so I took it upon myself tonight to de-friend and de-clutter my Facebook account. However, after spending all that time deleting people I really didn't know or people I didn't know well or talk to often, I'm still left with over 500 friends. I'm too tired to go back through it. I have everyone sorted into lists (categories of common interests). Why is it so exhausting to do that? It takes up so much time because there are so many buttons to push and options for you to choose from.

Just in case you're reading this and you were de-friended, it's nothing personal. I just had way too much going on. And you probably know as well as I do that we weren't really close friends anyway. So with that said... I'm going to get off this laptop before it dies on me.

Goodnight friends.

Harvest

 

Summer is a time of playful days and smoldering nights. A time when you can sit on your front porch watching the sun set while drinking an ice cold glass of sweet tea, skin softly glistening from sweat while watching the kids play in the yard. Summer's a time of spending long weekends on the lake and building sand castles on vacation at the beach. There's almost nothing better, huh?

But there is... after summer, we get to experience my favorite time of year. Autumn. The time of year when the leaves change colors and fall like confetti across the lawn. I love the feel of a nice cool night when you pull a nice, soft sweater out of that box of Winter clothes. There are big pots of chili, Indian corn, pumpkins, hayrides, bonfires, and high school football games. You can NOT convince me that there is a better time of year! You just can't do it! 

It's also the time of year for harvest. And to me, that means reflecting on my year and enjoying the memories that were made. I harvest my joys and revel in my happiness during this time of the year. 

Life is good. Life is so good. 

Way Cool

I have recently been on a 90's kick. I found a CD in my car that's loaded up with lots of great 90's rock music. I've been enjoying my tunes on the drive to and from work. And I've just discovered some great re-runs on Nick at Night. So yes, I am watching "Clarissa Explains It All" and yes, I've been grunging it out to Nirvana and secretly doing the New Kids dance.

The best part about all of this isn't the great sounds I'm rockin', but the memories that flood my head while listening to them. To me, the 90's were the good ole days. High school, best friends forever, and marching band. The 90's will always be "ME". Nah... I don't think I'm really stuck in the 90's. But I cannot deny my love for that decade. I mean, never again will I be able to "Party Like It's 1999" with Prince... in 1999. LOL. Back then, music videos still played on MTV. The videos were so perfect for that time. We had Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg, Bone Thugs N Harmony, Warren G, Mariah Carey (before Glitter), Aerosmith, and Metallica. And there was no "Will Smith". He was the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire. And down the street from Bel Aire was Beverly Hills, 90210 and Melrose Place.

What could be better that that?! Yeah, yeah... I know... the 80's were great, too. And the new millennium is fantastic. Whatever. Nothing will beat that Nirvana "MTV Unplugged in New York" album or Bush's "Sixteen Stone". I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I've bought that same CD. And now that times are a changing, I think I'm going to have to download it from iTunes.

So with that thought, I'm off of here to enjoy the rest of my weekend with great friends and good soul-rockin' music. I think I'm headed to the International Newgrass Festival... maybe... :)

High Maintenance

 

~photo credit~

It takes a lot to look like this picture and I'm just not feeling it tonight. I am just exhausted even looking at this picture. I know, I know... what in the world am I talking about?!

All day long, I've felt like I just needed to go somewhere... to get out of this house. I have felt like my skin was just crawling and the longer I sat in this house, the more I needed some space. I kept thinking how nice it would be to get dressed up and have a night on the town. But then the night fell upon me and I'm just not up to it. I guess I could throw on an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt. But what would be any different than any other night if I just did that? I'm tired of the same ole, same ole in the closet. Nothing speaks to me anymore. And as I sat here on my bed looking into my closet pondering the idea of going out tonight, I started to think. 

I just don't understand the "High Maintenance" kind of woman. You know who she is and I'd be willing to bet you know someone like that personally. We all do. We all know someone who gets up extra early to do her hair and make up whether she's going to work, the grocery store, or just to sit around the house. Some women out there wouldn't be caught going to their mailbox without their "full face on". And I say this is ridiculous! Maybe my ex-husband was right, maybe I am lazy. I'm not wasting my time getting all fixed up just to sit in an office alone all day long. It's not worth it to me. And those people that say "oh you might meet someone"... So what?! If I meet someone and we hit it off, he's going to have to see me without my "full face on" anyway. 

I'd rather not be someone I'm not. I'd rather be me. Just me... the girl that hits snooze on her alarm clock about 7 times before getting out of bed... spends 10 minutes getting dressed in the morning before rushing out the door with an energy bar and a bottle of Smart Water. I'm also the girl that will relax in a bubble bath then spend an hour and a half dressing up for a night on the town with girlfriends... who does a smokey eye real well and can run in heels if needed. I'm not like most girls I know. Most of the time they're one way or another. Lots of bling, shiny metallics, and stilettos or a ponytail and flip flops. I can be either on any given day. And that's what makes me "me". High maintenance is not me and I don't think it ever will be. It's just too exhausting to be so demanding. 

So with that off of my chest, I've decided to stay home and relax this evening. Maybe I'll pour a glass of wine and enjoy the comfort of my cozy bed for the rest of the evening. At 32, I'm getting too old for this late night business anyway.

A Day With The Girls

 

 If you don't know what it's like to be in one big happy family, I'm truly sorry. Because what we have is like nothing I have ever seen with any other family. True, I've seen some other close families. But I have never seen a family like mine. 

Today, we spent time with my grandmother. 

Every year, my grandmother's homemakers group gets together for lunch somewhere and then who-knows-what. Today was lunch at The Oasis in Franklin, KY and then a little afternoon browsing at the little antique mall just down the street. My sister was well enough to get out of the house for a little bit and we were so happy she felt up to joining us. The photo above was taken at the antique mall as we were trying on the fabulous hats. (I LOVE these old hats and I really think I should have bought the hat I was wearing!) 

But there's something so special about a close family. We don't do this just "because Mammaw asks us to". No... we all really enjoy each others' company. I wish everyone else could have come down and joined us, too. But the time we spent together was wonderful, and it was priceless. You just can't discount these types of memories. I love my family... the good times and the bad times. We are lucky to have each other.

I think my favorite part of the day, however, wasn't the hats, the browsing, or the lunch. It was listening to my grandmother's stories of growing up, her wedding day, and Granny's cookies. Sharing those stories with her made my heart feel super happy. And I cannot wait to do it again. There's nothing like Mammaw's stories... well, except Mammaw's cooking... and Mammaw's pictures... and, well... Mammaw...

The First Time...

~photo credit~

There is something so special about a little boy. And there's something special about Winnie the Pooh. Growing up, I didn't watch Winnie the Pooh a lot. I wasn't obsessed with it. But I knew who all the characters were and what the stories were about. Kids these days don't watch the same shows we did when we were little. It's so hard to find The Jetson's, The Flintstones, or even Tom & Jerry on television these days. If it isn't on Boomerang, it's not on. Today's "Nick at Night" are things like Fresh Prince of Bel Aire and Beverly Hills 90210. Seriously?! I remember when Green Acres and Donna Reed were in their place. I miss those shows... 

But I've gotten off track here... today, I was able to take Nolan to his very first ever movie at a movie theater. We had originally planned on waiting until Larea was out of the hospital. But was told I could go on and take him. He was so excited! We got our tickets then headed straight to the concession stand where we loaded up with popcorn, Skittles, M&Ms, and a big Coke we could share. There was only one other family (of three) in the theater with us. So it was okay that he was asking questions and taking his shoes off. LOL. He laughed and laughed. And we shared the popcorn, then he ate all my M&Ms.

It was a perfect afternoon... just me and my little buddy. This entire weekend has been great, though. He and I have spent most of the weekend together. I think he has become my shadow. But I told him today I was so proud of him for being so good for me while mommy has been in the hospital. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I know he misses his mommy and cannot wait for her to come home. But in the meantime, I hope that I've been able to occupy his time and his mind. Winnie the Pooh was a perfect first movie... and we just had the perfect little date. 

I think he had a great first time at the movies...

The Long and Winding Road

No one said life was easy. No one said life was fair. We just take what we are given and roll with it.

Yesterday was a long day. We sat at the hospital for most of the day just waiting to hear how the surgery was going, then how recovery was going. Nolan was so irritable in the afternoon. But who could blame him? He was cooped up in the hospital all day with nowhere to burn off that crazy 3-year-old energy. By the time they brought Larea up to her room, we were all just exhausted. Nolan wasn't so sure about the mask on her face and he was worried about hurting her if he gave her a hug or kiss. He just doesn't understand.

Last night it was good to get into bed. We were all ready for it. Nolan snuggled up with me while watching some Micky Mouse Clubhouse. He wanted to call his mommy and tell her that her favorite song was on (Micky Mouse Clubhouse theme song... lol). So we did. And then they sang it together. It was pretty cute. Shortly after hanging up, he fell asleep. He didn't even make it through that episode. And every hour or two, I'd wake up and then frantically ask him if he had to go to the bathroom. LOL. I think we went to the potty 3 times throughout the night. LOL. I have to say... I really enjoyed snuggling up with him. He was so sweet.

Today, is a new day. And it's another reminder of the long and winding road recovery really is. Mom says Larea was up this morning sitting in a chair for a little while. I heard they were going to get her up and moving sometime today. Hopefully, they'll get her started on a liquid diet. As soon as she can eat real food, I'm going to get her whatever she wants! LOL. That's what sisters do, right? And now I'm about to head up to visit her again. I guess this is day 1 of recovery?? Let's make this a good day!

The "C" Word

can·cer/ˈkansər/Noun

1. The disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body.

2. A malignant growth or tumor resulting from such a division of cells.
3. An awful, ugly thing wreaking havoc inside my sister's body.

I guess it was only a matter of time until the big "C" found its way into our lives. Someone in our family was bound to get it sometime. It's not like there aren't a million of us (counting both sides of the parents' families) and we are all very close (some people think it's weird how close we all are). I've thought the past few years "wonder when it will strike our family?" and "Gosh, we've been lucky to not have it". Other than histories of cancers in the family and some minor skin cancer problems (Dad!), we haven't had the privilege of knowing that ugly word personally. But that stops now.

My sister, a beautiful mother and my best friend, was diagnosed with stage 1 colon cancer about two weeks ago. Tomorrow, one of the best doctors I've ever known personally will take out that cancerous polyp and the section of colon it is attached to. I don't know much about cancer, except that it's not cool... not cool at all! I know it's dangerous. And I'm not going to even begin to talk about it in any other way! I won't because I know my sister is going to be okay. I know in my heart that she is strong... and she's a fighter. I have hope. And I have love. And I know everything is going to be okay. It has to be.

So... tomorrow is going to be a long day at the hospital. But by the end of it, we will all be able to celebrate. Because the "C" word doesn't live on in our family. Nope... we're strong.... we're full of life... and we love with all we are. I'm proud to be a member of a family that has a bond so strong that nothing, including cancer, can break it.