If Only

The fact that my parents have been married for 30+ years amazes me. They are coming up on their anniversary in a couple of weeks and I can still see the sparkle in their eyes. Sure, they have their disagreements from time-to-time, but the love they share is obvious. It's there, written in the stars.

If everyone could have a love like theirs, I almost think we could have world peace. I mean, love does something to you. It opens your heart and makes you sing along loudly with the radio (90s at 9). I know what you're thinking... she doesn't believe in love. But maybe I've changed my mind a little bit. Maybe I'm opening my mind to the possibility of loving someone. And maybe I'm opening to my heart to the opportunities of loving someone. You NEVER know when someone might pop into your life unexpectedly. You do not know that your trip to the grocery for a gallon of milk will have you leaving there with only a gallon of milk. You might meet someone in the Dairy section. Or what about at work, you could meet a new UPS driver who's really good looking and decide to pass along your number to him.

The point I'm trying to make is that it happens, most of the time without you thinking about it. You hear all the time that you have to look your best every time you step out of house because you never know who you might meet. Well, won't they have to look at you when you're INSIDE your house, too? I do not look so hot when I get out of bed and I pretty much look that way all day long. But I'm good with it. I know that if I met someone, they would have to be okay with how I look on a daily basis, not just how I look when they met me at some bar.

But what if you found someone who DID like you for who you are on a normal, every day basis? What if you met someone while wearing your sweatpants and t-shirt and they still thought you looked beautiful? What then? Does that change all the books on dating?

If only we could all find someone who would tell us "you are beautiful when you first wake up" or "You are amazing" on any normal day, then maybe more people would find love like my parents have... a love that truly is amazing.

When You Need Someone To Lean On

There comes a time when you start listening to your mom. Have you gotten there yet? I mean, I used to be horrible! I had such a smart mouth on me (I know you are saying, "NO! Not you!!" but for real... I did). My mom was the queen of the backhand. If I smarted off to her, she was real quick to put me in check. And then there was that belt. Oh. My. Goodness. You know you got whipped when you were little (and if you didn't, you probably needed to be whipped... just sayin'). My mom had this belt made of velcro that she wore with her work uniform. That thing was thick and it made the most God-awful sound when it was coming out of her belt loops (SWOOOSH.... flop, flop, flop, flop, flop). But seriously, mom meant business.

She grounded me one time. ONE time in my entire life and it was for sneaking out. I was in high school. I LIVED on the phone. I mean that phone was stuck to my ear all day, every day. When she grounded me, the only thing I had to do was stay away from the phone. I think it was for only one day, too. I couldn't even do that. Seriously. I got caught on the telephone that evening and all she had to do was give me one look. I knew the disappointment in her eyes and I knew I never wanted to see that again.

That isn't the only time I chose not to listen to her. I know I have completely disregarded what she said so many times that I could never really count them. But with every passing year, I find myself following her every word. At some point in our lives, we figure out that maybe mom DOES know best. Maybe mom really is looking out for our best interests. Maybe mom just really loves us and wants us to be okay. For many people, that time never comes or maybe when that time does come it is too late. I am so happy that I figured it out early on.

Today, my mother is my best friend. I talk to her about everything and nothing at all. She is everything I could ever hope to be. My mom hung the moon (I know you might think yours did, but you're wrong. My mom did... LOL). I believe that in time we all become some version of our parents. I really and truly hope that is right. Because both of my parents are really amazing people and if I never became anything else in this little life of mine, being their daughter would be more than enough.

Mom... I love you so much more than any card or song could describe. You amaze me every day with your patience and kindness and your everlasting love. Happy Mother's Day!

Liars, Cheaters, and General Idiots

I find that it is usually too late in any relationship by the time you realize someone is lying to you, cheating on you, or is just an idiot in general. By the time things of this nature surface, you have already invested too much time, energy, and emotion to just walk away. The drama that is associated with these types of behavior escalate the longer you know someone. It seems like the feelings you might have overrule what your brain tells you as right or wrong. We all know lying is wrong. Cheating is wrong. It isn't fun for anyone. Well... I guess that isn't true. I guess those who lie and cheat have fun at it, otherwise they wouldn't continue. Or would they?

I've recently discovered a few of these situations in my own life. Maybe not to me personally, but they exist around me and wreak havoc for those around me. In one situation, I was awakened by a friend and their significant other to discuss whether or not I was involved with that friend intimately. Thinking about being angry about being awakened in the middle of the night, I wanted to snap their heads off for being so ridiculous. So the topic is brought up about checking the other person's phone for anything that might be odd or suspicious. And I guess I was the only thing suspicious in that phone. Really?! That is why I am called to the stand? After answering the absurd questions about my friendship and being accused of something, I made it a point to tell them both that they need to pay more attention to each other and if that happened there would be no reason to go through the other person's phone for "evidence."

There are other situations I could go into, but those cannot be vague enough to post here. I have no way of masking other situations without putting the whole true real story out there. Just know that it makes no sense.

People make life so ridiculous because they cannot live up to the lies they themselves have started. I'm sure this is all a little too vague to be interesting, but it makes perfect sense. If you lie, if you cheat... you will be found out about. I do not understand how this minor detail is not a concern at all.

Another thing that really gets me fired up is the fact that people say they lie to keep from hurting someone. How does that make sense at all? If you are a liar, please... comment below and tell me HOW that makes any sense at all. Because I have been wracking my brain trying to come up with a solution to this issue.

And then there is the general idiot. You know who they are. They are the ones that continue to let these things happen to themselves. They are the ones that allow the lying and the cheating to go on because they are either too scared to be alone, too blinded to see it happening, or too embarrassed to cause a scene about it. I have been that idiot. I do not like being that idiot. And I refuse to let that happen to myself anymore. I just wish other idiots like me would wake up and realize that life is so much better without that drama. It is better to be alone in this world of relationships than to be made a fool.

Hope Floats

You know you've seen it. That Sandra Bullock movie... You know the one... she is told her husband is having an affair with her best friend on a talk show that's made to look like Ricki Lake?! The one where she goes back home to Texas or Oklahoma or somewhere all broken hearted and down on love. Where she meets up with an old friend and learns that she still has feelings inside of her that matter. She learns that she matters... and hope floats.

Well, this is sort of like that... but not.

I've been a little lost in myself for a while now. I'm not sure why. I wake up in the morning with myself. I go to bed every night with myself. But somewhere along the way, I lose sight of what is important to me. These days, I'm not sure what that is.

I have hope, though. Just like Sandra Bullock in that classic chick flick. She lost hope in life. She lost hope in becoming someone her daughter could be proud of. She lost hope in herself. But in the end, she found hope again. And she was willing and ready to let it fly. I think I am ready to fly. I just need to push through and find the hope that's waiting for me.