Things That Make You Think

I've been single for years. I think I'm happily single. I don't really know anymore.

I was trying to get some sleep last night when I rolled over and something hit me. It was like a ton of bricks...

Memories that hit you when you least expect it can be really hard. Relationship memories are hard. I know in my heart that that chapter of my life is over. And I'm truly okay with it. But that doesn't mean that a memory or two when I least expect it doesn't bring back the sadness. Last night, I missed him for the first time in years.

Why does that happen? Why now? I had successfully marked that off of my bucket list. I was happy that there weren't any of "those" feelings drifting around any longer. I was happy that we could co-exist as "Just Friends". And I still think we can. I still think that things will be fine, just like they have been. But it just makes me wonder why that happened.

And then there's the phone call.

My phone started ringing tonight while I was writing my last blog. When I turned to look at who it was, I was somewhat shocked to see his face. I let the phone ring and the voicemail pick up. There was a time when that never happened. I haven't talked to him in a long time. Since I've last seen him, he's moved away, gotten married, and had a baby. What could he possibly want? Why would he be calling? He and I share a memory that is so strong and powerful that I think about it a lot. I haven't called him back. It's always the same when I do. The same conversation, the same humor, the same old story.

I have to wonder why the memory last night, the phone call today. I have to wonder "why now?". Is this a sign? And if it is, what sign is it? What am I missing?