Is it possible to have so much to say, but yet nothing at all. My soul is overflowing with hope and prayer. But then I feel so exhausted from emotions and stressors. A few years back, I had decided I wasn't going to let anything get me down. I wasn't going to get all worked up about anything that I didn't personally have the power to change. It's so much easier said than done.
For the most part, I have been true to that promise I made to myself. I have gotten better about talking out my issues and letting go of those deep thoughts that brought me pain (mentally, physically, and emotionally). But lately, I have noticed that I've been embracing stress with open arms. And I'm just not okay with that.
I'm tired of keeping a blog that I censor. I'm tired of talking to people that seem to not care at all about what I have to say AND do not confide in me in return. It makes me feel like those certain people aren't as close to me as I once thought. I've been doing a lot of evaluating in my life. I've been looking deeper into myself for the things that matter most. I know I have a few really close friends... friends I could honestly say anything to... people I can talk to without censoring my feelings or my thoughts, no matter what they are. For those few people, I will be eternally grateful. Because those few people allow me to be me. They allow me to say whatever, do whatever, and be whatever I am without judgement. I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to have THAT kind of friend.
I have had a black heart lately. And I'm done with that. I'm looking at life and all of its possibilities. There are much more important things to deal with than this.
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