Breaking Point

Sometimes we reach a point in our lives when we just can't take things anymore. Sometimes it happens more than once to us. Actually, more often than not it happens more than once. Life happens. We get wrapped up in everything that is going on around us and we find it hard to cope. We have trouble just getting through the day. And we expect our friends to be there for us and help us through it.

A close friend of mine is going through a really hard time right now and I want more than anything in the world to be there with her to help her through it. Family matters are at the heart of her troubles, but I know how strong she is - even if she doesn't - and I know what she can handle. Though this time, things were a lot harder than they ought to be. I'm trying to be there for her as much as I can, but also not smother her.

Friendships are a balancing act. You have to know how much to give and how much to take in order for it to work properly. One person cannot always be the giving person. One person cannot be the one to listen to every problem without wanting to listen to the other's problems. One person cannot run the entire relationship. And when you're dealing with this kind of friendship (you being the giver) you cannot just keep everything to yourself. You can't constantly listen to your friend's troubles without expecting them to listen to your own... even when you think your troubles aren't a big deal. They are.

Am I making any sense?? I guess what I'm getting at is we all have things going on in our lives and we all need our friends. And the ones that need us the most are the ones out there asking for help, but you're not seeing it because you're too busy worrying about yourselves. Sometimes it's nice to be asked how we are doing. Even when we normally say we're fine, we need those friends that can look past that "I'm doing fine" crap to see that something is wrong. We all need friends that care about us... truly care about us.

I guess what I'm getting at (through all of this nonsense) is that we all need to pay a little more attention to our friends and we all need be givers in those friendships.

And this is why...

Situation 1: Girl meets boy. Boy says he's crushing on girl. Girl feels good about it. Boy stops talking to her. Girl gives up on boy because she finds out boy has girlfriend. Boy meets girl's friend. Boy says he's crushing on friend. Girl stays single. Boy is stupid.

Situation 2: Girl meets boy. Boy says he likes girl. Girl thinks she might give him a chance. Boy sends obscene photo and expects girl to swoon over it. Girl stays single. Boy is stupid.

Situation 3: Girl meets boy in high school and thinks he is a jock. Boy acts like girl doesn't exist. Girl meets boy several years later. Boy likes girl. Girl feels like he's ridiculous for liking her. Girl acts like he's kidding and ignores him but asks him out anyway. Boy doesn't take her up on offer.  Girl stays single and feels stupid. Boy is stupid.

Situation 4: Girl meets boy. Boy says he likes girl. Girl and boy start dating. Boy and girl break up. Boy starts living with new girl. Boy expects old girl to still be there for him. Girl is single... and stupid for considering it. Boy is stupid.

Situation 5: Girl meets boy. Boy is several years younger than girl. Boy thinks he's hot and special because he plays a guitar. Girl thinks he's pretty cool. Boy dates someone else but expects girl to be his "friend" anyway. Girl ignores boy and his ridiculous requests. Boy gets mad at girl for ignoring him. Girl is single. Boy is stupid.

What is up with the whole dating scene these days? Yeah, I get that there really isn't a dating scene anymore and that most people are just "hanging out" and "hooking up." They say romance is still out there, but I haven't seen it. In fact, I don't know who "they" are. And I don't really know what this "romance" is they speak about. I haven't seen it. I know I have been single for a real long time now and maybe I just need to get back into the scene to see what it's all about. But really... this is what you give me?! These are my options?? Really?? And this is why I'm still single...

SWF

Single white female seeking single white male... or single white female... someone to hang out with and get me off my lazy bum. Anyone out there? Any takers?

I'm learning just how old I really am these days. I have the desire to go out and dress up and have a good time, but I have no desire to get up and actually do it. I mean, it's 9:14 on a Friday night and I'm at home. I'm single! I should be out painting the town red. But I'm perfectly content hanging at home watching a movie or taking a hot bath. I could totally go to bed any time. I know... it's pathetic.

Is this normal? Is it normal for a 30-something single girl to want to just hang out at home on a Friday night? I mean, I'm dressed. My hair is done - and it looks somewhat decent. I'm even wearing makeup. WHAT?! Yeah... you know how it is. (Honestly, I came home from work determined to figure out this whole "curl-your-hair-with-your-flat-iron-thing" but it didn't really work out for me. I had the big hair thing going so I had to do something with it. Hence the makeup. Anyway...)

So what do I do now? How do I get out of the funk? I mean, yeah... it would help if I had single girlfriends to go out with from time-to-time. At my age, most girls are married and/or have children already. I don't have either. (That is not my attempt at a pity party... LOL) I enjoy being single and not having certain responsibilities. So I guess I need to figure it all out. I need to figure out how to mesh the "home-life" with the "party-girl" or "good-time-girl" that's still inside me. Hmmm... any suggestions??