We are nearing the end of a long year. I'm not sure how I feel about it... Was it a good year? A bad year? I talked to my sister about this just a few days ago and I'm no clearer now than I was then.
I started out my year with a bang, traveling and doing as much as I possibly could all the time. If there was an opportunity, I seized it. If there was an impromptu trip that I could afford, I did it. I have no regrets from this year as far as fun goes. I got to experience Mardi Gras with the locals on the Gulf Coast. I flew to see my girlfriend in Florida just because I could. I watched the last space shuttle launch off the Atlantic coast and I've burned in the hot sun of the Gulf. I spent my year making memories with my best girls and my wonderful family.
And even though I have enjoyed my year to the fullest, I can't help but remember how it turned on me. Just after my last summer vacation, my sister was diagnosed with cancer. Then, Autumn turned into sadness with the passing of my grandfather (1 month ago today), my great-uncle (last week), a good friend's father, and another good friend's grandmother. It's hard to believe all the pain that's been bestowed on us the past few months.
How do you categorize this year as good or bad? How do you say, "2011 was a great year" without also saying, "2011 really knocked me down emotionally?" I don't think I can do it. For what I thought would be one of the best years of my life, I have to end it with a big question mark. I don't know if I'm happy to be shutting this chapter of my life, this year of good times and so many memories. And I don't know if I'm happy that a new year is here and I can start over. This year has left me feeling uncertain about a lot of things.
I think it's time to update my bucket list and review my year in detail. Only then will I be able to see what 2012 might hold for me.
I think that both the good and the bad provided for soul expansion in 2011... You stepped out of your comfort zone, you went exploring, you had raucous good fun, and then you crossed paths with what truly loving someone can bring us too...that place where their path diverges from yours and as you continue your journey without them, you miss them with the same intensity you loved them. So, yes...I would count it as a good year. You lived, you learned, you loved...a good year indeed.
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