What Were You Thinking?

I thought I would take a nice little vacation and relax. I thought I would wander the streets a little and look at the lights. I thought I would have a couple of drinks and pull a few slots. I thought I would lounge by the pool and take in the sunshine. I was wrong.

Las Vegas is just NOT a place where you sit back and relax. Las Vegas is a place filled with fun and adventures. Around every corner was a new person to meet, someone else to talk to. Around every hotel/casino was another hotel/casino. The memories made will last forever.

Once I got home, I thought I could just take a nap and recuperate from the week of wild, crazy fun. What was I thinking?! I'm still exhausted from my vacation. I cannot seem to get in enough sleep... or enough water. I keep saying I'm going to go to bed early, but I have yet to have that happen. Maybe tonight. Maybe.

Breaking Point

Sometimes we reach a point in our lives when we just can't take things anymore. Sometimes it happens more than once to us. Actually, more often than not it happens more than once. Life happens. We get wrapped up in everything that is going on around us and we find it hard to cope. We have trouble just getting through the day. And we expect our friends to be there for us and help us through it.

A close friend of mine is going through a really hard time right now and I want more than anything in the world to be there with her to help her through it. Family matters are at the heart of her troubles, but I know how strong she is - even if she doesn't - and I know what she can handle. Though this time, things were a lot harder than they ought to be. I'm trying to be there for her as much as I can, but also not smother her.

Friendships are a balancing act. You have to know how much to give and how much to take in order for it to work properly. One person cannot always be the giving person. One person cannot be the one to listen to every problem without wanting to listen to the other's problems. One person cannot run the entire relationship. And when you're dealing with this kind of friendship (you being the giver) you cannot just keep everything to yourself. You can't constantly listen to your friend's troubles without expecting them to listen to your own... even when you think your troubles aren't a big deal. They are.

Am I making any sense?? I guess what I'm getting at is we all have things going on in our lives and we all need our friends. And the ones that need us the most are the ones out there asking for help, but you're not seeing it because you're too busy worrying about yourselves. Sometimes it's nice to be asked how we are doing. Even when we normally say we're fine, we need those friends that can look past that "I'm doing fine" crap to see that something is wrong. We all need friends that care about us... truly care about us.

I guess what I'm getting at (through all of this nonsense) is that we all need to pay a little more attention to our friends and we all need be givers in those friendships.

And this is why...

Situation 1: Girl meets boy. Boy says he's crushing on girl. Girl feels good about it. Boy stops talking to her. Girl gives up on boy because she finds out boy has girlfriend. Boy meets girl's friend. Boy says he's crushing on friend. Girl stays single. Boy is stupid.

Situation 2: Girl meets boy. Boy says he likes girl. Girl thinks she might give him a chance. Boy sends obscene photo and expects girl to swoon over it. Girl stays single. Boy is stupid.

Situation 3: Girl meets boy in high school and thinks he is a jock. Boy acts like girl doesn't exist. Girl meets boy several years later. Boy likes girl. Girl feels like he's ridiculous for liking her. Girl acts like he's kidding and ignores him but asks him out anyway. Boy doesn't take her up on offer.  Girl stays single and feels stupid. Boy is stupid.

Situation 4: Girl meets boy. Boy says he likes girl. Girl and boy start dating. Boy and girl break up. Boy starts living with new girl. Boy expects old girl to still be there for him. Girl is single... and stupid for considering it. Boy is stupid.

Situation 5: Girl meets boy. Boy is several years younger than girl. Boy thinks he's hot and special because he plays a guitar. Girl thinks he's pretty cool. Boy dates someone else but expects girl to be his "friend" anyway. Girl ignores boy and his ridiculous requests. Boy gets mad at girl for ignoring him. Girl is single. Boy is stupid.

What is up with the whole dating scene these days? Yeah, I get that there really isn't a dating scene anymore and that most people are just "hanging out" and "hooking up." They say romance is still out there, but I haven't seen it. In fact, I don't know who "they" are. And I don't really know what this "romance" is they speak about. I haven't seen it. I know I have been single for a real long time now and maybe I just need to get back into the scene to see what it's all about. But really... this is what you give me?! These are my options?? Really?? And this is why I'm still single...

SWF

Single white female seeking single white male... or single white female... someone to hang out with and get me off my lazy bum. Anyone out there? Any takers?

I'm learning just how old I really am these days. I have the desire to go out and dress up and have a good time, but I have no desire to get up and actually do it. I mean, it's 9:14 on a Friday night and I'm at home. I'm single! I should be out painting the town red. But I'm perfectly content hanging at home watching a movie or taking a hot bath. I could totally go to bed any time. I know... it's pathetic.

Is this normal? Is it normal for a 30-something single girl to want to just hang out at home on a Friday night? I mean, I'm dressed. My hair is done - and it looks somewhat decent. I'm even wearing makeup. WHAT?! Yeah... you know how it is. (Honestly, I came home from work determined to figure out this whole "curl-your-hair-with-your-flat-iron-thing" but it didn't really work out for me. I had the big hair thing going so I had to do something with it. Hence the makeup. Anyway...)

So what do I do now? How do I get out of the funk? I mean, yeah... it would help if I had single girlfriends to go out with from time-to-time. At my age, most girls are married and/or have children already. I don't have either. (That is not my attempt at a pity party... LOL) I enjoy being single and not having certain responsibilities. So I guess I need to figure it all out. I need to figure out how to mesh the "home-life" with the "party-girl" or "good-time-girl" that's still inside me. Hmmm... any suggestions??

Discouraged

I hate taking a class where the professor makes you feel like an idiot for asking a question.

I've read through some of the other questions that are listed on the discussion board where this problem happened, or that problem happened, and every answer the professor gives is some kind of smart remark. Now I get we're college students and we should probably put more thought into our work, but does that mean our professors should degrade us and make us feel like we're a waste of time?

I'm not happy. Not happy one bit with this semester's classes. I'm doing okay in both of them, but okay isn't good enough. I am one of those people that must do well in their classes. I'm not okay getting an "okay" grade. I'm just not. So this struggling I'm doing is not pretty. I don't know what to do about it though.

I've lost a test completely. I went to take it tonight and it was no longer listed under the Quizzes & Tests tab on Blackboard. Where did it go? It was there yesterday and it's not due until the 19th. So where is it?! I left a question on the Discussion Board, but I'm sure I'll be answered with some smart remark basically telling me I shouldn't bother him with such petty questions.

I guess I just don't understand why some professors have to be such asses. Only one other professor I've had was a jerk like this one. Only one. If they don't want to teach, they should stop teaching. I'm a non-traditional student just trying to make it through and it's very discouraging to take classes with professors that don't give a damn. It's classes like these that make me want to say, "Screw it!" and just drop them all. I work hard. I work hard at my job. I work hard at home. I work hard on these classes. I don't have time to be made to feel worthless and stupid!

Box of Chocolates

I've survived yet another Singles Awareness Day and I still have a smile on my face. I think it's safe to say that, by now, I'm okay with the single status. I enjoyed my day like anyone else did, including those WITH a Valentine.

I received some really lovely roses that brightened my morning. They were unexpected and they made me smile. The card was so cute... it read, "Will you be my Valentine?" and it was signed, "Your Favorite Valentine." How cute is that?! I love my Crystal. :)

 

I also received a beautiful pot of tulips from my father along with a sweet card. It's so nice to know you're thought of on days when you normally wouldn't be. My dad has a way of making you feel special... and he certainly did make me feel special. My mom had something to do with it, too... even if all she did was sign the card. :) 

It's nice to work in a place that isn't filled with other women, too. That just meant I didn't have to see all the mushy love going on around me, which would have only reminded me that I don't have someone. 

All-in-all, my Valentine's Day was pretty good. I have a desk with pretty flowers all over it and a cute Valentine from my nephew. I also got to spend the afternoon with my little buddy at his Valentine's Day party. It's so cute to see all the kids having so much fun. His friends had to give me hugs, all of them, more than once. At that age, they're so innocent and sweet. I even received two Valentines from his friends. They know how to make you smile, don't they?

Pain is Good

We're going on week two of our gym memberships, and dad and I are still working it out. It's true... we haven't stayed for a long amount of time at the gym, but we definitely leave there worn out, sweaty, and in need of water (and pain medication... LOL). We have increased our time doing different machines (treadmill, stationery bike, elliptical) and we've gone up a tad bit in weight on the circuit machines. Dad even started jogging some while on the treadmill. I told him to take it easy. He definitely doesn't need to overdo it so quickly. But I'm really proud of him. We aren't so much focusing on our weight or how much we are losing or not losing. I think our main goal is to just feel good.