+ One

Sometimes I really think about the single life and how it continues to be a major factor in my life. But it's not really a "single" life. I don't date. I don't think I'm opposed to it... but I'm definitely not out there trying hard to find a date either. So it's usually just me. There's never a plus one. My wingman has found a boyfriend recently and had asked to bring him along to a party we were supposed to attend (it got canceled, no biggie). I'm so very happy for her!! She totally deserves to find a little lovin' and a lotta happiness.

I deserve to find that same kind of happiness, too. But when I go out, I find it hard to talk to men. I also find that a lot of the single crowd are young, skinny women. I'm neither. I'm proud of the person I've become. But thinking about the young, skinny girls makes me wonder about my own fate. And I wonder if it truly is easier for a skinny girl to find a man. Obviously, most thinner women are better looking that fuller figured women. Most men out there, I'm sure, would not really want to be with a woman carrying a little extra lovin' around with her. But... with that being said, I like me. I think I clean up nicely.

And yes, on most days I look like death.

Just like this photo here... a snow day... laying around all day in my pajamas playing with my nephew. He's okay with me just the way I am. And most days, I am too. I wonder if I should worry more about what people think of me and less of what I think of myself... would that help me open up more and be more "available" for dating? I feel like I should be working out for hours a day and eating only 500 calories. I feel like I should be out there dressing to the nines just wishing, hoping for that date to come up. But I'm not. I work out some (not as much as I should) and I am aware of what I'm putting into my body. I'm nowhere near perfect. But I'm okay with who I am, on most days. I'm okay with being just me.

But... It might be nice to have a + One. You know... someday...