I'm free but I'm focused. I'm green but I'm wise. I'm hard but I'm friendly baby. I'm sad but I'm laughing. I'm brave but I'm chickenshit. I'm sick but I'm pretty baby...
What a contradiction?! But I understand all of it. I feel all of it. Is this not how we all feel? I always feel like I have one hand in my pocket and the other one's giving a peace sign. I am this song. I am every contradiction this song represents.
It's like I'm hiding something from the world while professing my hope for peace and happiness. And I guess I am sort of doing that. I openly say what I think and how I feel on some topics. But I hide a lot of my true feelings and emotions. I don't know why I can't let it out there. But for some reason, I hide behind a mask... and one that's not as beautiful as the photo.
In a world where people hide behind a facade, how do you know when someone is being real? If I'm smiling on the outside, do people know I'm screaming on the inside? And if they do, why am I still hiding behind the mask?
I don't make new years resolutions, but I do make a yearly "bucket list". That list consists of whatever I can think of that I want to do during that year. It seems like my lists keep getting shorter. But there are also more things getting crossed off that list. I think I'm going to add another one to it for this year... I want to stop hiding behind my mask... get that one hand out of my pocket and throw them in the air and just admit that I'm me. For better and for worse. And for all things in between. This might be the year that I become real. I said before that 2011 just might be my year... so I guess we'll see.
Right on!!
ReplyDeleteMe too!
I am all about some authenticity. In theory, but not so much in practice. I still hide. I don't want people wandering around in my broken spaces or giving me advice how to fix things they have no idea what its like to have fallen apart. That might have not made sense, sorry.
By the way, I am going to be a yoga teacher!! I'll be doing a summer intensive training session at Savannah Yoga. I can't wait! Can you see me, rolling up into someone's driveway in the vw bus, about to teach them yoga. Hah! I'm my own brand. :)
A fun part of blogging is the awards, and I left one for you at TFSC :)
ReplyDeleteWhat is TFSC?? Thanks for the award. I hope to figure out what TFSC is and then what award you left me. LOL.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited that you're going to be teaching yoga. I love yoga. It's so good for the soul and the body.
And you make perfect sense to me. I completely get you there.