That's me... 7 years ago this past Christmas. I was a 24 year old blond girl fresh out of a marriage with sadness on her mind. In the 7 years that have passed, I've grown a lot... and I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned that maybe Trevor was right about some things. Maybe I am a little lazy... maybe I could stand to lose a few pounds... maybe I could be a little prettier. But then I've also learned FROM Trevor. Without that time in my life and without his constant nagging for me to be better, I wouldn't be the confused person that I am today.
I often wonder if it's okay to have two personalities fighting to be one. I don't mean that I have multiple personalities. But I mean I constantly go back and forth between the not-so-confident girl who cannot just walk up to a guy and start a conversation and the good-time girl out with her friends that no one can bring down. Not to mention rambling gypsy and the rock soul that I have. I wonder if I'm a lost cause...
This is me just 19 days ago ringing in the new year with my best girl out on the town. I've come a long way since that shy, sad girl with the blond hair. I don't even know who she is anymore. But I know that she's where I came from. She's where I've been. The road has been tough getting to me today. And it's nowhere near perfect. But looking at these two pictures I see major changes... I feel major changes. And even though I can still feel that same hurt and pain I did 7 years ago, I can also see the hope that came from it.
Girl, I think that it's the closer you get to 30, the more you figure yourself out.
ReplyDeleteI look at the me from even five years ago, and I just can't even really relate. I don't know whether to hug her or kick her tail?
What if you're already past 30?? LOL... Or maybe I found her and then lost her again since I turned 30?? I don't know...
ReplyDeleteTrue that...I rounded thirty I think the same time you did? We're the same age, aren't we? I turned 31 in December...
ReplyDeleteI linked to you today. In hindsight, I should have asked. Sorry 'bout that, sista.
Also, thank you for the message back on FB. Really made me feel like I am not alone and that things will get better again.
Nothing like loving someone and having to see them self-destruct. Really painful...
Yes we're close in age. I'll be 32 in May. And I'm cool with you linking me. And you're welcome for the message on FB. True friends are always there for you when you need them. And most of the time, we know it without you even saying a word.
ReplyDelete