The Long and Winding Road

No one said life was easy. No one said life was fair. We just take what we are given and roll with it.

Yesterday was a long day. We sat at the hospital for most of the day just waiting to hear how the surgery was going, then how recovery was going. Nolan was so irritable in the afternoon. But who could blame him? He was cooped up in the hospital all day with nowhere to burn off that crazy 3-year-old energy. By the time they brought Larea up to her room, we were all just exhausted. Nolan wasn't so sure about the mask on her face and he was worried about hurting her if he gave her a hug or kiss. He just doesn't understand.

Last night it was good to get into bed. We were all ready for it. Nolan snuggled up with me while watching some Micky Mouse Clubhouse. He wanted to call his mommy and tell her that her favorite song was on (Micky Mouse Clubhouse theme song... lol). So we did. And then they sang it together. It was pretty cute. Shortly after hanging up, he fell asleep. He didn't even make it through that episode. And every hour or two, I'd wake up and then frantically ask him if he had to go to the bathroom. LOL. I think we went to the potty 3 times throughout the night. LOL. I have to say... I really enjoyed snuggling up with him. He was so sweet.

Today, is a new day. And it's another reminder of the long and winding road recovery really is. Mom says Larea was up this morning sitting in a chair for a little while. I heard they were going to get her up and moving sometime today. Hopefully, they'll get her started on a liquid diet. As soon as she can eat real food, I'm going to get her whatever she wants! LOL. That's what sisters do, right? And now I'm about to head up to visit her again. I guess this is day 1 of recovery?? Let's make this a good day!

The "C" Word

can·cer/ˈkansər/Noun

1. The disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body.

2. A malignant growth or tumor resulting from such a division of cells.
3. An awful, ugly thing wreaking havoc inside my sister's body.

I guess it was only a matter of time until the big "C" found its way into our lives. Someone in our family was bound to get it sometime. It's not like there aren't a million of us (counting both sides of the parents' families) and we are all very close (some people think it's weird how close we all are). I've thought the past few years "wonder when it will strike our family?" and "Gosh, we've been lucky to not have it". Other than histories of cancers in the family and some minor skin cancer problems (Dad!), we haven't had the privilege of knowing that ugly word personally. But that stops now.

My sister, a beautiful mother and my best friend, was diagnosed with stage 1 colon cancer about two weeks ago. Tomorrow, one of the best doctors I've ever known personally will take out that cancerous polyp and the section of colon it is attached to. I don't know much about cancer, except that it's not cool... not cool at all! I know it's dangerous. And I'm not going to even begin to talk about it in any other way! I won't because I know my sister is going to be okay. I know in my heart that she is strong... and she's a fighter. I have hope. And I have love. And I know everything is going to be okay. It has to be.

So... tomorrow is going to be a long day at the hospital. But by the end of it, we will all be able to celebrate. Because the "C" word doesn't live on in our family. Nope... we're strong.... we're full of life... and we love with all we are. I'm proud to be a member of a family that has a bond so strong that nothing, including cancer, can break it.

Putting Up A Fight

We are silly... and we're spontaneous... and we're sisters.

When one of us has a problem, the other will listen and try to help. Sometimes we bicker and fight with each other because we are so completely different. It's funny when people ask us if we're twins. (I mean, come on... don't you think she looks older than me?! LOL. I'm kidding. But that's something she would say. LOL.) We have our own personalities and nothing about us is the same. She makes up her bed every morning and I do good if my pillows get picked up off the floor before I leave the room. Her ideal Saturday night is spent watching soap operas and cuddling with her little man, whereas mine is a nice drink and conversation with a good friend. I'm okay with throwing on a pair of jeans and pulling my hair back... and she is 45 minute showers, full-on makeup, and straightening her hair. We're just not the same person.

The things that make us who we are are the things that we love so much about each other. And I know she is there for me always. And I hope she knows I'm there for her, too. Right now, she's battling a fight that we've never had to fight before. And I hope this is the last time we have to deal with it. The love we have hasn't always been this strong. But we've come a long way since we were little girls. Our friendship has become so much more than just being sisters. And so we fight this together. 

Rea... I love you more than you'll ever know. You are an amazing person and I'm right here with you every step of the way. You are and will always be my forever friend.

Beautiful Dreamer

Sometimes I find it so hard to be positive. But when I do, it seems like I wander on over to a good friend's blog and everything gets better. I hadn't been keeping up lately because of all of my travels. But today, I decided I would see what was going on in her world. And I was not disappointed.

My gypsy friend is a beautiful dreamer. She inspires me to look into myself and find happiness. And how does she do it? Just reading her blog entries and listening to her playlist... nothing special... nothing made just for me. She's just so free with her words and her soul is so open to understanding. I have read and re-read some of her latest entries finding different things that touch my soul each time.

You know there's something special there when you get so much out of the most normal things a person says. I could sit on a porch with her in the pale moonlight talking about nothing at all, just hearing silence... and yet hear the most beautiful conversation. Friends like her are few and far between. And I'm so glad I have her positivity in my life. Cameron... you inspire me to dream...

Black Heart

Is it possible to have so much to say, but yet nothing at all. My soul is overflowing with hope and prayer. But then I feel so exhausted from emotions and stressors. A few years back, I had decided I wasn't going to let anything get me down. I wasn't going to get all worked up about anything that I didn't personally have the power to change. It's so much easier said than done.

For the most part, I have been true to that promise I made to myself. I have gotten better about talking out my issues and letting go of those deep thoughts that brought me pain (mentally, physically, and emotionally). But lately, I have noticed that I've been embracing stress with open arms. And I'm just not okay with that.

I'm tired of keeping a blog that I censor. I'm tired of talking to people that seem to not care at all about what I have to say AND do not confide in me in return. It makes me feel like those certain people aren't as close to me as I once thought. I've been doing a lot of evaluating in my life. I've been looking deeper into myself for the things that matter most. I know I have a few really close friends... friends I could honestly say anything to... people I can talk to without censoring my feelings or my thoughts, no matter what they are. For those few people, I will be eternally grateful. Because those few people allow me to be me. They allow me to say whatever, do whatever, and be whatever I am without judgement. I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to have THAT kind of friend.

I have had a black heart lately. And I'm done with that. I'm looking at life and all of its possibilities. There are much more important things to deal with than this.

4...3...2...1... BLAST OFF!

This past weekend, my family did what we do best... We went on yet another last minute trip. This time, though, was truly special. We had talked about doing this a while back but had pretty much decided not to go. But earlier in the week, we thought "Why not?!"... so we packed up and headed south Thursday afternoon. We were up for nearly 41 hours before any of us adults got any real sleep.

What were we doing that was so important??? NASA STS-135 Space Shuttle Atlantis launched for it's last mission from Kennedy Space Center on Friday, July 8, 2011 at 11:29 EDT and we were there to watch in person just across the bay from the launch pad. Not only was this the last shuttle mission from Atlantis, but it was the last ever mission for any space shuttle in the NASA program... the end of an era, so to speak.

I thought I had gotten a really great video of the whole launch... but it turns out that I got video leading up to it... and then video after it. So, I'll leave you with the only photos I have from The Last Mission and hopefully my sister will tag me in the photos she has from the launch on Facebook, if they ever get up there.

 

This sign stated that the bridge crossing the bay directly across from the launch pad would be closed two hours before and after the launch... This is what my family looks like after being awake for over 24 hours and driving all night over 900 miles to get to Titusville, FL... and this was the lovely break in the clouds that allowed the astronauts to take their journey into space that lovely Friday morning...

 

 Waiting on the launch... 

 

The bridge from the pavilion we were sitting in, the launch will be just past that bridge... Mom and dad waiting on the launch... the smoke from the rocket boosters into the clouds... and part of the thousands of people coming off that bridge after the launch... 

Let Freedom Ring

If you know my family... you know that we love big, we laugh big, and we party big. Here are a few shots from this year's Independence Day party... It doesn't get too much better than this, really...

Nolan and his baseball bat... Floord playing for our party, third year in a row... Crystal and Magaily enjoying a cupcake and the music... me and my cousin, Chris (yeah, he's pretty great!)

 

Mom gettin' a little Floord love from Josh for her birthday... Me and my sister, my forever friend... My beautiful mother and me, big smiles... me and my nephew, the reason I smile every day!

 

My dad is pretty great... I love my brother and sister... This photo was a remake from three years ago with Amber, me, Nolan, Larea, Magaily, and Crystal... This pic of me and my brother was funny because at the time this was taken, I truly was feeling a little blurry and yet very happy!

 

These photos are pictures of the people I love more than anything in this world.... My family... 

It was an amazing party, yet again this year. It just keeps getting better...