Happy New Year 2012

The end of my year wasn't quite how I expected it to be. For a few weeks now, my plan was to be in Louisville ringing in the new year with one of my best girls, Mary Jo, and her family. My plans to see her on her birthday fell through... and I made these plans to replace those plans. Then my dad got sick...

Dad was admitted to the hospital on Thursday and we weren't sure what was going on. In fact, we still don't know what's really going on. Instead of driving up on Friday as planned, I stayed home to figure out what was going on with him. He was released to go home on Friday but continued to feel really bad. I was torn about what to do for NYE. I decided to stay home to help mom out a little bit. My brother had also decided to come home to celebrate his 30th birthday. Mind you, I haven't been able to be with him to celebrate since he turned 18. It was nice to have him come home.

So I made the best out of my situation... and I went out in town to celebrate.

I started my night with my girl, Beth, having dinner a snack at Cheddar's where my favorite bartender gave me WAY too much to drink right off the bat. After that fun time, we headed to Tidball's where we enjoyed the rest of the night and a few more drinks. We toasted the new year with champagne and took a few photos. I think you'll see that despite the change in all my plans, it was fun...

 

Beth and I started out the night alone and added people as time went by...

 

 Next came along Crystal...

 

So then there were three...

 

And NYE must bring out all the old friends... because then we were joined by Brittany...

 

And then my baby brother... 

 

And along with Jeremy was Amber... 

 

Then it was Beth's turn to have an addition to the party... her other half, Gene...

 

We had such a wonderful time together...

 

Toasting in the New Year! Cheers!

Even though old plans got canceled and new plans were made, it was nice to be able to be with this group of people on New Years. I hope that this means that 2012 will be an amazing year with some amazing people.

Shuffle

Shuffling on my iPod while trying to get my thoughts in order for bed, a song came on that took my breath away. And I realized that we buried one of the greatest men I've ever known just one short month ago. I knew earlier this week (Tuesday) that it was the one month anniversary of the passing of my grandfather and we spent that night with my grandmother. It was just some of the granddaughters and our grandmother playing cards and sipping hot cider. I think it was good to be together.

And I knew it had been one month, and I was okay. Then that song played and I've broken down. I don't think I will ever be able to listen to these gospel songs (mainly "In The Garden" and "How Great Thou Art") again without thinking of him and breaking down. I miss him so much. I have recordings of him talking to us just a few days before he passed; I haven't been able to listen to them. It's so hard to look at his pictures and remember what his hand felt like in mine.

I think it's hard to know how much a person means to you until they are gone from your life. I wish so much that he was still with us. I know he is looking down on us, even me, right now and I know he doesn't want us to hurt. That's the last thing he wanted... for us to hurt. I just have to learn how to deal with these songs when I hear them. Music has always been the gateway into my soul... And my soul loves wholeheartedly... completely...

Random Thoughts on a Thursday Night...

I just realized it's after midnight. Today is officially New Years Eve Eve. We're two days away from my baby brother's 30th birthday (yeah I realize he's not a baby). My plans were to go visit my friend in Louisville for the holiday originally. But now my dad has thrown a kink into the mix of madness that is life. What better way to close out this year but to have someone in the hospital?! (Send some good vibes or thoughts/prayers our way yet again please...)

Dad had some severe pain in his lower left abdominal area that caused mom to take him into Private Referral to be seen. After some blood work and such, he was admitted for observation. I don't know if he will get to come home tomorrow or not. They're going to do more blood work and some xrays to see what is going on. They are pretty confident that it's diverticulitis, which can be really painful. And worse case scenario... surgery to remove the affected part of his colon. (Big sigh)

So with that hanging in the air, I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should stay around here and help out or head up to Louisville anyway. It's a waiting game. I think I'm starting to see a pattern with that this year.

In other news, my "Cheers" turned 10 yesterday. I met up with two of my girls to enjoy a little fun at Tidball's with the other wallflowers. It was so good to get out and kick up my heels with a nice cocktail. Tidball's did so much for me in the past 8 years. I wasn't around when it first opened, but I was sure there every night of the week for a while. There was no better place to be than there... still isn't. I couldn't get treated that good anywhere else. John Tidball and Brian Jarvis are top notch fellas! And I'm honored to know them and be a part of their history. So... Happy Anniversary Tidball's! You are loved so much!

Me, Crystal, and Jennifer... we've spent a lot of time inside these brick walls...

I met Jennifer through a good friend, JG... She's a sweetheart!

 

I love her. She is the peanut butter to my jelly. 

Wrap it up...

We are nearing the end of a long year. I'm not sure how I feel about it... Was it a good year? A bad year? I talked to my sister about this just a few days ago and I'm no clearer now than I was then.

I started out my year with a bang, traveling and doing as much as I possibly could all the time. If there was an opportunity, I seized it. If there was an impromptu trip that I could afford, I did it. I have no regrets from this year as far as fun goes. I got to experience Mardi Gras with the locals on the Gulf Coast. I flew to see my girlfriend in Florida just because I could. I watched the last space shuttle launch off the Atlantic coast and I've burned in the hot sun of the Gulf. I spent my year making memories with my best girls and my wonderful family.

And even though I have enjoyed my year to the fullest, I can't help but remember how it turned on me. Just after my last summer vacation, my sister was diagnosed with cancer. Then, Autumn turned into sadness with the passing of my grandfather (1 month ago today), my great-uncle (last week), a good friend's father, and another good friend's grandmother. It's hard to believe all the pain that's been bestowed on us the past few months.

How do you categorize this year as good or bad? How do you say, "2011 was a great year" without also saying, "2011 really knocked me down emotionally?" I don't think I can do it. For what I thought would be one of the best years of my life, I have to end it with a big question mark. I don't know if I'm happy to be shutting this chapter of my life, this year of good times and so many memories. And I don't know if I'm happy that a new year is here and I can start over. This year has left me feeling uncertain about a lot of things.

I think it's time to update my bucket list and review my year in detail. Only then will I be able to see what 2012 might hold for me. 

Happy Holidays

The much anticipated day has come... and has pretty much gone, too. I don't know if anyone else is as exhausted from today, but I know I need a rest. I think it's time to utilize the bubble bath I received as a gift from Santa and pamper myself a little.

Normally, Christmas Day is exciting for about the first couple of hours after waking up... then it's a day filled with nothing. This year, there have been some kinks thrown into this mix of crazy we call our lives.

With the passing of my great-uncle earlier this week, Christmas Eve dinner at my grandparents' grandmother's house was pushed back to Christmas Day. So we had to come up with our own plans for Christmas Eve. We ended up snacking a lot, wrapping a lot, and spending a lot of time just visiting with each other. It was so nice to have my brother and his girlfriend home for the holiday (and not just for a few hours). We played a game together, laughed a lot, and shared some wonderful memories.

After Nolan went to sleep (finally!), we were up a while longer waiting on the arrival of the man with the bag. We were not disappointed... he left a room full of loot for everyone. On Christmas morning, we woke to the smell of breakfast cooking and the sight of magic in our living room. Once Nolan graced us with his presence, we had a blast watching him tear into all of the gifts he received. We also enjoyed a little gift opening ourselves.

It was the most fun cutting up and being together. Jeremy and Amber left in the early afternoon with their children (Dillon, the chocolate lab, and Maggie, the Catahoula). We spent the remainder of the day at my grandmother's house enjoying our Christmas dinner and some quality family time.

I'm back home now and in my pajamas. Yes... I know it's only 7:14 p.m., but when you go to sleep at 4:30 in the morning and get up again at 8, you're pretty tired all day. I think I could go for a cup of cocoa and a warm blanket... then I'll snuggle in for the night with a good movie. Perhaps I'll go for one that I got for Christmas. Or maybe I'll read a book. Hmmm.... who knows where the night will take me?! But I'm ready to relax and enjoy the rest of this holiday with my family.

Holiday Break

Is it odd that I need a break from my holiday break? I'm nearing the end of the first week of my holiday break from work and I just want to escape!

I have given myself a break from the Christmas music already. I knew it was going to happen. I've been listening to it since the middle of October... daily. The past couple of days, I have switched my iPod to shuffle on all songs and not just the Holiday playlists. It's kind of refreshing listening to Jack Johnson sing about Banana Pancakes and Limp Bizkit yell about The Nookie.

I'm trying to rest from the baking and decorating. I know I still have some things to finish up on and I haven't even started on some of the candies. It'll get done sometime... hopefully. I have the best sous chef in the world... Thanks, Mom! You bake a mean cake!!

As for the shopping... well, I'm about done. I am one of those last minute shoppers. I plan it that way, though. I have a real problem with stopping. You see, I buy and I buy and I love it! If there are days left and money left in my pocket, I'm going to try my hardest to buy more for the people I love. So, in order to save my bank account, I have to shop late. There are a few things left to pick up and hopefully I'll get that done sometime tomorrow.

For now, I'm taking a break. I'm jamming out to The Beatles and The Stones while laying around in my pajamas. I might have to make this a long, hot bath kind of night.

I am so thankful for my life.

On a side note, I am thinking about my family. We lost my great-uncle, Leonard Jones, this week to Leukemia. He's been battling this disease, or some version of it, for a long time. He was 69 years old and was the loudest, most wonderful man. I'm thinking of his family and will be remembering him during his memorial tomorrow.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

We are one week away from Santa's big day. I have done a good job of shopping so far. I've managed to buy for several people in my family and yet there's still time to spend some more.

I know the real reason for this season. I know the story of the nativity and I cherish the memories that are made every Christmas with my family.

Last night, we went to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville. Nolan had the most fun watching the entire show and got a big kick out of the soldiers and the dancing Christmas trees. The dancing was lovely and the music warmed my heart.

 

Me, Nolan, and my sister Larea waiting on dinner at Cock of the Walk before the show.

 

Mammaw, Mom, and Dad waiting on dinner at Cock of the Walk before the show.

 

Nolan in front of this huge guitar at the Grand Ole Opry House. 

Life is so good, you know? Through all the troubles that are going on around me and the many losses I've had to count this year, it's hard to believe that one could be positive... especially someone who is a "glass half-empty" kind of girl. 

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year...