It takes a lot to look like this picture and I'm just not feeling it tonight. I am just exhausted even looking at this picture. I know, I know... what in the world am I talking about?!
All day long, I've felt like I just needed to go somewhere... to get out of this house. I have felt like my skin was just crawling and the longer I sat in this house, the more I needed some space. I kept thinking how nice it would be to get dressed up and have a night on the town. But then the night fell upon me and I'm just not up to it. I guess I could throw on an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt. But what would be any different than any other night if I just did that? I'm tired of the same ole, same ole in the closet. Nothing speaks to me anymore. And as I sat here on my bed looking into my closet pondering the idea of going out tonight, I started to think.
I just don't understand the "High Maintenance" kind of woman. You know who she is and I'd be willing to bet you know someone like that personally. We all do. We all know someone who gets up extra early to do her hair and make up whether she's going to work, the grocery store, or just to sit around the house. Some women out there wouldn't be caught going to their mailbox without their "full face on". And I say this is ridiculous! Maybe my ex-husband was right, maybe I am lazy. I'm not wasting my time getting all fixed up just to sit in an office alone all day long. It's not worth it to me. And those people that say "oh you might meet someone"... So what?! If I meet someone and we hit it off, he's going to have to see me without my "full face on" anyway.
I'd rather not be someone I'm not. I'd rather be me. Just me... the girl that hits snooze on her alarm clock about 7 times before getting out of bed... spends 10 minutes getting dressed in the morning before rushing out the door with an energy bar and a bottle of Smart Water. I'm also the girl that will relax in a bubble bath then spend an hour and a half dressing up for a night on the town with girlfriends... who does a smokey eye real well and can run in heels if needed. I'm not like most girls I know. Most of the time they're one way or another. Lots of bling, shiny metallics, and stilettos or a ponytail and flip flops. I can be either on any given day. And that's what makes me "me". High maintenance is not me and I don't think it ever will be. It's just too exhausting to be so demanding.
So with that off of my chest, I've decided to stay home and relax this evening. Maybe I'll pour a glass of wine and enjoy the comfort of my cozy bed for the rest of the evening. At 32, I'm getting too old for this late night business anyway.
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