Well... it only took me about 20 seconds after posting that pic in my "30 Day Challenge" photo album on Facebook before I broke down. I have to start letting myself let go. I have to begin coping and dealing with things in a different way or else this is going to happen a lot.
I miss my brother so much. I feel like he's traded me in for someone better. And I hate feeling like I'm nothing to him anymore. He was my best friend. The person I always turned to for anything... everything. And now I feel like I'm just another family member to him. I mean, it's not like he's on the other side of the world... he's about 2 hours away from me. But that 2 hour drive from here is enough to stack walls between us. And I miss being able to talk to him about everything. Now he only calls when he's on the road driving the truck for work or when he's grocery shopping. I feel like he's just too busy for us when he's home... we only get his time when he's not home pre-occupied. And it stinks to feel this way. I can't talk to him when I want to... I don't feel like I can anyway. And I gripe and complain all the time when I'm talking to him. But I'm just so angry and sad. I hate missing him so much. My heart breaks every time he leaves. I just want my brother back... I want my best friend back.
And now the flood gates have opened and I'm out of tissues. I guess it's a good thing it's my bed time and I can just go to sleep.
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